Vulnerability

by: Brett Hartmann

C.S. Lewis writes, “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable” (The Four Loves, 121). But who wants to be vulnerable? It almost seems like a weakness. We do not want people to know we may be hurt, and we certainly do not wish to be hurt. In order to protect against vulnerability, we may even put up walls, isolating ourselves in a major way.

The word vulnerable comes from a Latin root meaning “wound”. And to be vulnerable means that one has the ability to be wounded. Being vulnerable means letting your guard down, even though you know you will probably get hurt at times. Vulnerability directly relates to suffering, which comes from the Latin root meaning “to bear”. Simply put suffering means bearing a wound.

The Christian notion of love entails vulnerability and at times suffering. Jesus, the model of Love, made himself entirely vulnerable and suffered greatly for us. It is strange to think that Divine love involves an ability to be hurt. You would think that nothing would be able to harm the Divine. Yet the Son of God was crucified!

The point here is not that God is any less powerful. Certainly He could’ve come down from the tree. The point to focus on here is the nature of God’s love, and what it tells us about how we should love.

Later Lewis goes on to write, “The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell” (The Four Love, 121). Lewis’ point is that love involves exposing ourselves to wounds. And if we are not willing to do that, we can certainly shut ourselves off from the notion of love entirely, but as Lewis points out, that is Hell.

When we suffer we show that we have truly loved. My grandma died last October, and my grandpa still has not healed. He cries. He has his good days and bad days. But his suffering is a sign of his true love for her. He made himself vulnerable, and when she died, it wounded him deeply. But love is worth it. Love is worth risking suffering. To truly love there can be no self-defense mechanisms.