Made for Community - Swans or Sharks?

by Michelle

Our lives are filled with many different types of relationships, relationships with co-workers, friends, significant others, parents, children, etc. These interactions can be positive, uplifting, and encouraging, but they can also be trying, suffocating, and altogether negative, unfortunately. Relationships can also change with time, for the better or for the worse. The complexity of relationships can leave us feeling as if we just want to hide away in isolation. The movie Up in the Air perhaps best captures this sentiment when the main character states:

Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises… Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.

So what are we – ‘swans’ or ‘sharks’? In an attempt to address this question, I will be blogging about relationships for the month of March. Since all interactions involve at least two people, I hope you will join the conversation by commenting at the end of the blog. Hint, hint, wink, wink.

I want to start the conversation by telling you why this topic is interesting to me. Many of my friends know that I have been in a difficult work situation for a few years now. A situation where I have felt that some of my co-workers, at times, have been ‘sharks,’ to reference the quote above. Even more, these same co-workers have not been consistent in their behavior, sometimes acting kind and at other times acting in very deceptive ways. This type of relationship is one of the worst I have ever experienced. The type of relationship where every time things seem to be heading in a positive direction, you are surprised to find the exact opposite happening, a new low. I’m not sure what has been worse – experiencing the new low or being taken by surprise. The ups and downs, especially the downs, have made me extremely cautious and careful in my interactions with others, in all areas of my life. Almost as if, I have lost my ability to tell who is a ‘swan’ and who is a ‘shark’. In truth, maybe it is not as clear-cut as identifying a person as a ‘swan’ or ‘shark’, perhaps we all alternate between the two types. Maybe the question I should be asking is: What are you right now, at this very moment, ‘swan’ or ‘shark’?

My question for you – What do you think? Are we trapped as a ‘swan’ or ‘shark’? Can we alternate between the two states? What does scripture tell us? I look forward to discussing these questions with you in the upcoming weeks. Until then, God’s grace, peace, and blessings to you and yours.